So, I realized this morning in my rush to go to bed that I forgot to blog about yesterday, so I started my morning with my daily message. I may have to make it a morning ritual vice evening, but then that would require me to get up early.
Speaking of rising. The alarm is slowly breaking my heart. Each night, I curl into bed and have torrid dreams of us together...nothing daunting or overly exciting...but they are dreams like we really live. Dreams where we hang out together on the couch and chat while tv plays in the background, or in the car holding hands...and then the alarm sounds with your voice and for the slightest second, I can feel your arms around me, whispering in my ear..."good morning baby, its time to get up." Then I hear the silence before it plays again and the feeling of your arms around me dissapates and I realize that you are still gone. In that second is where I want to stay because I am crushed when I realize you are still absent.
I try not to worry about the future, but when the present holds little and your heart aches, the future seems a better place to be. I try, every night as I sleep, to hit the "fast forward" button so that I awake with you near me once again. Will it ever happen? Will that day every come again? I pray for it will all my heart.
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